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Love's Little Ditty So There!
Think you read me like a book
Emotions Bottled Poem of Pain When you reach out your hand And open your heart; When you vow once again To make a fresh start; When you dredge deep within And find a thin strand of hope; And pray for the strength To continue to cope; But your hand's slapped way, Your heart stomped on again; Your patience and strength Worn dangerously thin; And the flicker of hope You harbor and hold Gets blown out by deceit And many lies told; Where do you turn? What do you do? Would she see it differently Were she in your shoes? Questions with no answers echoing back; No way to seperate fiction from fact The past haunts today Tears it asunder; Leaving me helpless Forever to wonder; What can I say To change what will be? What words of love Will help her to see? The path that she walks The course that she chose, Makes her options grow fewer And open doors close! © Kimberly Beach 2004 Faerie Song A Poem for my friend Kim What gentle peace the faerie brings; What gentle grace the faerie has. What calming peace the faerie gives, with a whisper through the air. A gentle melody to sing; A gentle song begins to ring; Through the air and in your heart; A smile upon your face does start. You close your eyes in the wonder… Of the moment. And when you open them to thank her She is gone! Now you must ponder... So you hum her melody and a smile does once again grace your face… So you sit for just a little while; And hum, and smile. © Kimberly C. Beach 2005. It wasn't my fault! What you thought of me. It wasn't my fault! What you said to me It wasn't my fault! What it did to me It wasn't my fault! How it changed me. But it is my fault! If I let it continue. It is my fault! If I let it go on It is my fault! If the poison… Continues, To trickle through me. Killing my future. Like you killed My past. © Kimberly C. Beach 2005. Etchings Etched upon my soul; Seared into my heart Memories defining, Forever changing… What I might have been. Technicolor memories. Markers of my life. Love, laughter…anger. Triumph and strife. The pain and the ecstasy That brands them to my soul. White hot flashes of memory And emotions take their toll. But I am me because Of these etchings on my soul. Unique, complex, and humbled… And yet somehow more bold. I am made stronger for All these things Both glorious and tragic. They together weave a Tapestry… Both delicate and Fantastic. © Kimberly C. Beach 2005. Sweet Revenge You are what you did not wish to be Dat apple don’t fall far from dat tree. Me? I ‘m free from such troubles. No such worries for me. No genetic connections to you Or her nor even he. I stand and I laugh at the quagmire… Through which you have to struggle Ne’er an inch farther Than when you began the struggle. We were younger then,and you Swore you would not, Repeat the mistakes Of the past. You would not be THAT man. You would Be different… THAT didn’t last Now I stand here, drink in Hand having read your threats To me… having done my Dance of joy , that there is no link to thee! You alone carry the code For the cold, cold heart And the cruel nature that Turns on its young. That combination is one That is dangerous to deal with And I sleep with one eye open But with a smile upon my face And a dance in my heart. For you are what you Did not wish to be. You, are your father. My revenge is complete. © Kimberly C. Beach 2005. My Angel Baby I never got to hold you, And see your beautiful face. I never got to hug you Or hear you say Grace.
But you are never far from me,
Someday, sweet one, when my time
I will shower you with kisses
I love you little one!
Sent to Heaven on July 10, 1992. |
I scream! … Do you hear me? I scream! …..Do you care? I scream!….Do you hear me? I scream!…..Do you dare? Does the fact that I am not your own Make it matter? Is the bond of blood, truly that much stronger? Can you not see past the papers? And just love me, love me, anyway? Why did you choose me if you couldn’t? Why did you do this if you wouldn’t? A motherless child remained so Onward…… You could not love What you did not understand. You do not love what you do Not understand. So I scream out my pain For a past that can’t be changed That mars a present that hurts Me so! No way to stop The train of events… what’s Done is done, let it all Play out. Then the motherless child Can end her weeping The motherless child Can end her scream But the motherless child Will never stop asking Why? Oh God, Why? © Kimberly C. Beach 2005. Innocence on the Beach I was supposed to be able to trust him I looked up to him, you know. It was just a walk on the beach. But it turned into something more. The walk along the beach The questions and the talk Continued longer than it Was supposed to and Soon it turned dark "Had I ever masturbated?" My face was bright bright red But the setting sun hid it And my pounding heart Hid what he said. I only remember his hand Down my pants Where it should not be To show me how to do “it” Just “demonstrate” you see. I was so humiliated that night. It was something I never forgot It continued to reinforce for me Men be trusted? – I think not! © Kimberly C. Beach 2005. It's My World You take a jagged piece of me Will it be enough Rip another piece of me Do you think you’re tough? How much of me might Be left when you’re Done kicking me around? You think you’ve done Enough this time to Keep me on the ground? “This is my world” you said “you’re just livin’ in it!” It echoes through my mind As your footsteps fade away For the very last time. I get up every morning, Put a smile on for the kids. Send them out the door And stare at the scars That no one sees. © Kimberly C. Beach 2005. He Loves Me No matter what I say He loves me. No matter what I do He loves me. No matter how I scream He loves me. No matter my state of mind He loves me. Sane or not He loves me. Giddy or suicidal He loves me. Whatever it takes He loves me. I don’t deserve it He loves me. I can never repay it He loves me. A lifetime of joy each day He love me. God help me stay sane He loves me! © Kimberly C. Beach 2005. Only One I have only to be loved by one To stamp out those who would Bind my heart with thorns. I have only to be cherished by one... To block the venomous words That they would use to bind My soul and make me doubt It takes only one, only one. Holding my hand... So I can hold my head high And shout: You are WRONG! I am a person, worthy Of unconditional love Just because I don’t meet Your criteria, does not Make me less of a person. It just makes me Different. Deal with it!. © Kimberly C. Beach 2005. Soulful Rebellion My soul flies free! One last time, it shouts with glee. Before being fettered With your chains. Drugged into submission Once more tamed. But one last time, I shall dance. One last time I shall laugh. One last time I will celebrate the Freedom that is me. And I shall remember forever more What I once was before You shut the door. So when you see my wistful smile I’m visiting my soul For just a little while. When you see that gleam in my eye Don’t even bother to ask why. I am deep in my memories Happy as can be… Remembering my soul Flying free. © Kimberly C. Beach 2005 Ignorance is Bliss A box I had within my mind A way of coping, you see With all the traumas in my life; Those were too painful for me. Every time it happened and I could not reconcile Why it happened yet again And why it had to be me. I put these things in the box I closed the lid so tight I thought the box would keep me safe These “things” would ne’er see light But the box had it limits And this I did not know Until it was too late And the box did explode All the trauma, all the pain, All my lifelong regrets Flooded my soul with such agony That which I’ll never forget. That box is shattered, gone forever No safety can I find.. And the refuge that I seek these days Is from my very own mind! How to explain to those I love The tattered web within? But each day I get up with a sigh And try and try again. © Kimberly C. Beach 2005 Life's Final Walk
In a world devoid of light
Despair, my friend, I know you well.
Despair, I'm now in your tight embrace.
I want to go away from here. Into the night, I go a-wanderin'. ©Kimberly C. Beach. 2003 Broken Soul
Shattered mind
and broken soul.
Dreams all scattered
to the wind;
Onward, forward
I will go. |
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